Seeking the joy in this life

I was without my computer for 9 days! It was very hard having to resort to things like looking things up in a book and calling to ask others for info. It was so isolating also! Well anyway I am back and hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and good ending to 2008. Can you believe it is 2009? Seems like yesterday it was 1999 and we spent the whole year preparing for the end when everything would crash on 1-1-2000! Good times! Well 2008 was a year for changes for sure. We had just had our fifth baby, bought our new house, had Jason start the last year of school and enjoyed lots of laughs and good memories. It was also the hardest year of my life. Enduring my Niece's illness has been the hardest trial that I have ever had to face. The emotional turmoil that it has presented on us is more than I ever thought I would be able to bear but I cannot deny seeing the Lord' s presences around every corner and have felt his arms lift me when I thought I could not bear anymore. I have such hope for this year that it will better than the last but I am not one that dwells on the past but uses the past for reflection. I have struggled to maintain my optimistic attitude lately but I am committed to remain hopeful and see the beauty in this life. I know we are meant to find the joy in this life so that is my resolution, Finding joy and recognizing it everyday. That is not something that has ever been hard for me but seeing leukemia take so much from my sweet Avarie has made it hard for me to see life as simply as before. I am forever changed but am determined to make it for the better.