Health Scare

So a lot of you know about our health scare this last week but do to how traumatic it was for me I need to record it by blogging about it. On last Sunday Addalyn started running a fever and began acting really grouchy. After 5 days of it and no other symptoms I began to really get concerned especially since she was also getting pale. So on Friday I took her, and the other two, to the Dr. Right away the Dr seemed to take it seriously and told me that we needed to give her a catheter and get a urine sample. I then mentioned that fevers freak me out now ever since my niece got leukemia. She then said that that was exactly what she was suspecting with Addalyn. I started to go weak but didn't really start getting weak until she said we would hold off for now on the Bone Marrow testing until after we run all the labs. So she wanted me to go to the hospital and get her blood taken. She then left the room to do a fast check of the urine, cultures would be done on it as well but wouldn't be ready until Monday, while she was gone I sat done and almost lost it but decided to save that for the car. She came back and said that Addalyn did have a bladder infection but that might not be the cause of this. Not sure exactly what else she told me about but she mention Leukemia and Lymphoma twice. So off I went to the Hospital by myself with no cell phone. I barely made it there. After the blood work at the hospital I some how made it home and knew I'd receive a phone call in 30 minutes with the results. So with pure agony setting in I called my mom and let her in on my nightmare. I figured Jason would call around lunchtime so I knew I better wait to talk to him until after I had some kind of results plus he was the one I dreaded most talking to due to the fact that he loves her as much as I do. So 30 minutes later the Dr called and told me that although a few things were high and low she felt better about it not possibly being cancer. I felt better to for about 10 minutes until I began to think about the fact that Avarie's counts had fooled the Drs for 4 months. The agony of these thoughts began to creep steadily in my mind as I began to reflect over the past year and a half of my sister and nieces lives. I couldn't imagine how I'd make it through and frankly I didn't want to. Every time I looked at my little girl I ached and her possible road she might have to travel down. The weekend consisted of me not letting her out of my sight and hardly out of my arms. On Sunday we got a call telling us that some of her cultures came back and that she definitely had a bladder infection and that she was anemic. I made the nurse give me all Addalyn's counts, so I could review them with Jason and Jenell. I explained my concern about the cancer stuff and she told me they would redo her labs after she got off the antibiotic. I felt a little better and had a rush of hope and peace run through me. And then today we had more results which indicated that she also had Ecoli. Yay for Ecoli and UTIs!! I feel 95% better and am hopeful when the next labs are drawn in 2weeks we will all be able to feel 100% better. Regardless of how it turns out I must admit that this experience made me remember how lucky I've been and how much I tend to take that for granted. After living through the past year with Avarie's illness I was constantly reminded of the gifts I had but I think that I had began to become complacent about it all. I love my kids so much but when you think that they are about to face a life threatening illness it is amazing how quickly everything else in life disappears and you are only left with the purest love that it truly makes your heart ache. I am not lost on the comparison of our Heavenly Father's love for us. How he must ache as he watches us struggle. I'm so grateful that he allowed me to come here and loan me these 6 beautiful spirits until the day he is ready for us to come home. I'm so thankful for my knowledge of his eternal plan and that each of my babies are sealed to Jason and I forever.