Pumpkin Picking

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A decade of marriage!

Today is our 10th anniversary. It seems so odd to think that it has been that long but my memories before my marriage are beginning to be less clear so you know it has been awhile. This year funds are nonexistent so besides making homemade pizzas tonight with the kids and maybe going to the pumpkin patch that is how we are spending our anniversary. So I decided to relive some of my favorite romantic times with my Sweetheart.

1. Jason blindfolded me and took me to the Portland Art Museum to see my favorite painter ,Monet, on exhibit. That is where he proposed!

2.All of our babies births. Jason loves that first night as much as I do. Babies bring out some of the best of him. He completely pampers me for at least a week.

3. For our 3rd anniversary he went shopping a few days before with my younger sister, I did not know, and she helped him pick out a few outfits for me! He then surprised me on the big day and brought them out and told me to get dressed and ready to go out!

4. One of my favorite dates before we got married was he came and picked me up from work with a dozen roses and took me to the rerelease of Gone with the wind, my favorite movie!

5. Jason has several times faked that we were going to run errands when he then drops me off at a day spa!

6. For my 19th birthday he surprised me with and took me and my parents to a dinner theater.

7. On valentines day this year he made me think we were going to my parents to fax papers when he surprised me and dropped the kids off and took me to lunch and shopping!

8. When I was pregnant with Payten he spent months getting gift certificates for Babies R us and surprised me with a card at my baby shower.

9. He is the one that had the idea for me to go to Time Out for women in Raleigh, I had such bad morning sickness but he thought that it was important that I went, he bought me the electric bracelet before hand and all my snacks. He then cleaned the whole house while I was gone( trust me I had been so sick it was a big job) and took great care of the kids!

10. He loves me and tells me so everyday. No matter how much weight I have gained or how how hideous I look sometimes, he always tells me that I am beautiful.

I love you Jason and as I wrote to you 7yrs ago after you got a bad grade in A and P " I will love you no matter where we live, what you do for a living, I will support you through it all." Of course I had no idea of the journey's we would have to go through to be where we are. I would change none of it because through every experience we have been through we have grown together and become stronger. So, 10yrs down an eternity ahead!

Life continues

Well soccer season is done and with that three to four trips a week to the soccer field goes with it. It seems like this last week was on stand still. I was so engrossed with news from the hospital that I can't believe this week is over. I truly am still living in a bit of a dream like state but life seems to always continue around you even when it is hard to make it through another day. I went and spent time at the hospital today and it was so great. Avarie was doing so good today! She was so excited to see Brooklyn they sat on her bed (Avarie still can't walk yet) and got their fingernails painted and played barbies. Jenell was so excited and even her nurse came in and couldn't believe it she has been so unhappy and showed little interest in much until today. I can not express how much that did for my heart I had to contain my tears because it was the most heartwarming scene watching the two girls play together like always. I even got to sit with her and soak in the moment more as I cuddled her(until I sat on one of her wires and made a machine start beeping). Tomorrow we will have a day of fasting and a lot of praying, so far we have contacted everyone I know to join in on the fast or at least the prayers. I am so touched by the outpouring of support for our family. Hopefully Avarie will have her pain lessoned so she can come home tomorrow. I truly do believe in the power of prayers and have so much faith that this will help. So again thank you to everyone and keep up the prayers:)

We need your Prayers

Avarie started chemo last night. It was extremely hard to concentrate on sleep while knowing what was going on. I still feel like I'm living on auto-pilot. Anytime I forget for a second about what my sister and her family are going through or have to endure I almost immediately am reminded of something that triggers my mind and once again I am swallowed back into our reality. It was especially hard when I had Addisen and Carter stay the night on Monday and could not shake the absence of their sweet sister. Brooklyn kept getting mad that she had no one to play with. Brooklyn and Avarie are so close. They have always been so similar in so many ways that it is almost impossible for me to see Brooklyn now and not think of Avarie. In some ways that has helped me. I know that it seems almost selfish of me to go on about my grief when I am not the mom but Jenell and I are so close that it is impossible for me to seperate my feelings from hers. I truly love each one of my neices and nephews so much, being an Aunt for me has always been a verb to me. I truly hope that everyone who reads this will please keep Avarie and her family in your prayers. I have no doubt that prayers heal. This Sunday is fast Sunday in our church please join our family in fasting and praying. Even if you don't go to our church please consider attending some church this Sunday. You might just find what you've been missing.

Leukemia

I just got word that the our sweet Avarie has leukemia. I can't really express my truest sorrow of this but I just wanted to let you all know a story Jenell shared with me this morning. Her and Avarie caught some of conference yesterday and as Jenell lay beside her sweet daughter Avarie turned to her and asked if the prophet would ask Heavenly Father to make her better because she was tired of being sick. Jenell told her she was sure he would mention to bless the kids who were sick. After a little while of listening to one of the speakers, Avarie not realizing it wasn't the prophet asked why the prophet hadn't said "please make Avarie not sick" Jenell told her that the prophet hadn't spoke yet but not to worry. One more quick story to share is that when they were giving Avarie an ultrasoud the other day she was having a hard time holding still and began pleading with her mom to sing the primary song "I love to see the temple"so Jenell looked at the technician and explained that she would then began singing her daughters fav. church song(so she wouldn't completely weird her out) so sweet Avarie held still as her mom sang the these words

1. I love to see the temple.
I’m going there someday
To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.
I’ll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.

2. I love to see the temple.
I’ll go inside someday.
I’ll cov’nant with my Father;
I’ll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth:
A fam’ly is forever.

where much is expected much is given

I write with heavy heart but not with little faith. My barely 4yr old niece has been battling what we thought was arthritis but what now is thought to be leukemia or lymphoma. We went to see her in the hospital yesterday, she has been there since Friday, She was in so much pain I struggle with the words to adequately describe how my heart ached as I looked upon my sweet Avarie and saw her crumbled up in pain. She will have her bone marrow tested today or tomorrow, so until the results come in we wait. Jenell is holding up well but I fear that the toll of this will become evident soon. It has been hard on her being away from her other kids especially her baby. General Conference has never meant more to me nor have I ever I feel needed it more. There were so many wonderful words expressed. How truly blessed are we that have the gospel in our lives to help us through times of trial. I rely so heavily on my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that at times like this it is what brings me comfort. I'm not sure how others make it through without turning to them. I by nature research things when I do not understand something so here are a few things that I have found that have brought me comfort.

When Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail, he cried to the Lord for comfort, and the Lord gave it to him. He said that “if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” (D&C 122:7.)

Such trials give us the development of spirituality that we probably never would get if we didn’t have the experience where the very jaws of hell gape open their mouth wide after us. Not only must we survive, but we must develop the ability to have a concern for others while we are suffering. It is a key element in our spiritual growth. As we lose our lives in the service of our fellowmen, we find ourselves.

Jesus gave us the perfect example at Gethsemane when he forgave his Apostles who slept while he bled at every pore for all our sins. He only asked, “Could ye not watch with me one hour?” (Matt. 26:40.) Suffering is universal; how we react to suffering is individual. Suffering can take us one of two ways. It can be a strengthening and purifying experience combined with faith, or it can be a destructive force in our lives if we do not have the faith in the Lord’s atoning sacrifice. The purpose of suffering, however, is to build and strengthen us. We learn obedience by the things we suffer.

I truly hope that each one of us does not waste the precious time we are given on this Earth in things that do not and will not matter once we pass on. We each are given the opportunity to come here and have the freedom to live our lives according to our will but what a waste if we do not strive to make our life full of things of purpose. We have but little time to spare doing things that are not of eternal importance. I cannot waste the lesson this experience with Avarie has already taught me I will not allow here suffering to be invane. Please remember her and her family in your prayers. I will keep you all posted of her condition.