where much is expected much is given

I write with heavy heart but not with little faith. My barely 4yr old niece has been battling what we thought was arthritis but what now is thought to be leukemia or lymphoma. We went to see her in the hospital yesterday, she has been there since Friday, She was in so much pain I struggle with the words to adequately describe how my heart ached as I looked upon my sweet Avarie and saw her crumbled up in pain. She will have her bone marrow tested today or tomorrow, so until the results come in we wait. Jenell is holding up well but I fear that the toll of this will become evident soon. It has been hard on her being away from her other kids especially her baby. General Conference has never meant more to me nor have I ever I feel needed it more. There were so many wonderful words expressed. How truly blessed are we that have the gospel in our lives to help us through times of trial. I rely so heavily on my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that at times like this it is what brings me comfort. I'm not sure how others make it through without turning to them. I by nature research things when I do not understand something so here are a few things that I have found that have brought me comfort.

When Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail, he cried to the Lord for comfort, and the Lord gave it to him. He said that “if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” (D&C 122:7.)

Such trials give us the development of spirituality that we probably never would get if we didn’t have the experience where the very jaws of hell gape open their mouth wide after us. Not only must we survive, but we must develop the ability to have a concern for others while we are suffering. It is a key element in our spiritual growth. As we lose our lives in the service of our fellowmen, we find ourselves.

Jesus gave us the perfect example at Gethsemane when he forgave his Apostles who slept while he bled at every pore for all our sins. He only asked, “Could ye not watch with me one hour?” (Matt. 26:40.) Suffering is universal; how we react to suffering is individual. Suffering can take us one of two ways. It can be a strengthening and purifying experience combined with faith, or it can be a destructive force in our lives if we do not have the faith in the Lord’s atoning sacrifice. The purpose of suffering, however, is to build and strengthen us. We learn obedience by the things we suffer.

I truly hope that each one of us does not waste the precious time we are given on this Earth in things that do not and will not matter once we pass on. We each are given the opportunity to come here and have the freedom to live our lives according to our will but what a waste if we do not strive to make our life full of things of purpose. We have but little time to spare doing things that are not of eternal importance. I cannot waste the lesson this experience with Avarie has already taught me I will not allow here suffering to be invane. Please remember her and her family in your prayers. I will keep you all posted of her condition.