I surrender

So the white flag is being flown on my blog. Wow, umm, where do I begin. well i stand by my earlier post but i think that people did not understand where it came from so everyone jumped to conclusions about why and who it was about. The fact is Everyone including myself is to blame, well no one is really at fault, I just was having a moment of frustration that stemmed from lots of places and it was about me transitioning from expectations and ideals about life that I am trying to make more realistic. I love and cherish my family if I didn't I would not care enough to feel hurt and frustrated sometimes. We are like many other families we don't always see eye to eye but we always make up quickly and rarely ever let things drag on. But unlike some we tend to be a little combative and shall we say bullheaded. we are not a quiet family and really I love that about us we have some of the best conversations but I think part of where I was coming from earlier was that we have all been quietly slipping into our own individual lives too much and I have seen from so many other families that once you go down that road you never really come back. I'm not exactly sure how the post got so far out of hand and when I mean out of hand I mean OUT OF HAND!!! I do want those that were most hurt to know that I truly am sorry it was not my intention, or have i ever intended, to make those i love feel as though they are not good enough or unappreciated in anyway. The fact of the matter is that sometimes i allow hurt feelings to build inside me and sometimes my cup runs over and now I have an outlet to release them a little. Ok so maybe they exploded out more then they should of but until recent events I thought only about four people were reading them anyway. I can't promise that everything I posts will always make people happy but i will never leave a vague post that my loved ones will have to wonder if it is about them. From now on I will name names and most likely I will name Aaron,LOL. I'm kidding about that but this has brought new clarity into my mind and with conflict can come change and in this case it has hopefully all been for the good. So I completely took that last line from the paper that I just wrote for Jason's sociology class let me tell you it was the hardest paper I have ever written and yes before you ask I write Jason's paper's when I'm ale but none have ever been this hard for me. I spent 7 hours on that paper and let me tell you I have never hated every minute of something more, ok it was barely second to morning sickness, but like morning sickness the outcome is so worth it.